We engage in along, silent, passionate hug. "It's the best Christmas ever," I say.I wear the dress the whole day, and on Boxing Day, I pull on the fusciadress. Mother smiles at me as I come downstairs."I'm sorry, but you'll have to take that off," she says. "I want us togo around the sales this morning." I pout indignantly."Don't worry," she says, "we'll be home by lunchtime. You can put itback on then."'Doing the Sales' has become a Christmas ritual for my mother, and I havealways hated. I watched the girls in my classes, analyzed them, their clothing, their behaviors, big and little. I could imitate most of these behaviors, but I did not intend to go that route—I didn't want to be a girl, I wanted to be with girls. I wanted to talk to them, joke with them, befriend them, and, when I was alone in my room and homework was done, I dreamed of touching them.Dreamed, and nothing more.Women are compared to a separate species, and I believe the metaphor accurate, to a point. Women are. Fortunately, it wasn't too far away, a mile or two back up the road. I wiped the sweat from my brow, started the car, and put the A/C on maximum.As I drove back up the road, I wondered to myself – just what was Heather doing at the moment? Was she curious as to how I was proceeding in my "treasure hunt"? I knew that she must have dropped the first set of instructions off, and arranged for the rental car earlier this morning; and she knew that I had collected the instructions from the. Reluctantly Chapter 5 Expectations and First LessonsShawn sat at the kitchen table obviously very self conscious. Dressed as he was in girl's clothes and with his hair brushed back into a long ponytail and tied back with a pink ribbon, he was on the verge of tears as his mother sat across from him studying this very different image of her son.Kathleen felt a little remorse for what she was doing to Shawn but she was not turning back now. She was determined to try this course of discipline in.
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